Mirrors constantly pull me towards them. I can spend an endless amount of time staring at the reflection, but I am not looking at myself. In the image that gazes back at me, I am searching for Louise. Identical twins are supposed to look similar, and yet no matter how hard I hunt I find no trace of her in the barren landscape that now forms my face. Maybe she is lost in the grey, overcast skies of my eyes, drowned in the rivers that flow over my cheeks. Louise on the right Missing Louise consumes me. So many times I need her, and I miss her so much that it hurts. I would go any distance, cross every ocean just to see her one last time. But I cannot cross the invisible barrier of glass, and in someways that doesn't matter because I find no trace of her there. Not only do I not look anything like Louise aged five, I look nothing like the way I imagine she would have grown up to be. Sometimes I feel like I spend my life trying to recreate her for the simple, selfish reason that I love her and I need her to be here with me. After the accident I tried to become Louise. We were twins so I hoped that by losing myself I would be able to bring Louise back. I wish I could go and tell Little Sophie that she can only ever be herself, that Louise is gone and that she has to let it be okay. In truth, the girl who tried to be her sister wasn't Little Sophie but the empty shell left behind. Little Sophie got lost on the motorway. I like to think that somewhere, in the place that lost things go, Little Sophie and Louise will always be together. Louise on the right Not only did I lose Louise in the accident, I lost the person that she would have been. It is impossible to let go when every time I look in the mirror there is a faint glimmer of hope. Maybe this time... Maybe this time she will be there waiting for me. I wait for hours, but Louise never comes Sophiex